How the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and The Easter Bunny Prepare Us for Death in the Best Way Possible

When my kids were little, I wanted to create magic for them. I tried to make each holiday filled with mystery and magic, and fun. I played all the parts, planning out what I would do for each, and staying up late the night before to execute the plan. I did it all, through exhaustion, frustration, and overwhelming times on my end just for that moment when their eyes lit up and I knew that they believed. To see that moment when their brain connects what they imagined to what is truly in front of them, as proof of magic existing in this world, living beyond the realm of what we can see with our eyes.

I don’t recall when I found out about the easter bunny or the tooth fairy, but I do recall the Christmas when I realized that Santa was just my mom and dad. I was five and woke up in the night, came out to the living room to see what was going on that they were up so late, and saw the look-alike Cabbage Patch doll that my mom lovingly sewed for me, along with all her clothing and a bassinet. I also saw the dollhouse that my dad was still gluing together. Even then, I didn’t fully grasp what was happening yet, but the next morning I knew the gig was up. I’m sure I’d heard whispers from friends or cousins that he might not be real, but I still believed. I don’t know that I even asked, but I knew that things were not quite what I believed them to be my whole life.

I didn’t grow up in a religious home. My mom was raised in a strict religious home, but the pendulum swung opposite for my childhood. My parents were young when they had me, just 21 and 18, and ready to experience more of life than what my mom had grown up allowed to do.

Though my extended family still went to church, it was not my childhood experience. On occasion, I went to see what it was all about and felt very out of place. There were very few young people there, and everyone dressed the same. It’s like I wanted to connect and learn more about this whole God, faith thing, but my child self called bullshit on the approach that was presented at this church. This place was NOT working for me. As I became a teen and tried again, I was judged with stares and whispered comments when I walked in the door. Clearly, this was not the all-accepting place I was led to believe it should be. I’ve always been big on walking my talk; when others don’t, I just can’t.  

So, even though I couldn’t get on board with this whole religion thing and even the mention of the word God made me uncomfortable based on my experiences, I still believed in things I couldn’t see. I still believed that our belief could help us through things. I still believed that there was something bigger out there than us that affected life on earth, but for me, it certainly wasn’t the same God that I’d been hearing about.  

Those childhood experiences of believing in Santa and the tooth fairy were foundational to believing that if we allowed ourselves, we could shape our reality through belief alone. The day that I found out that my mom and dad were Santa was not different than any other day. The only thing that changed was my awareness and my perception of what was.

Fast forward to my kids’ experiences, and I’ll admit that I let them believe for a long time and never gave them a straight answer that extinguished their faith or belief straight out (well, actually, I did with one, but I genuinely thought she knew by that point and was playing along). I didn’t say, “No, they’re not real,” because I didn’t want them to lose this ability to believe and because I don’t believe that to be the full truth. I believe that what we believe holds truth for each of us. We don’t have to believe the same thing, and I don’t believe we need proof or evidence to believe in something because isn’t that what faith is? Believing in something that you can’t prove? If I took this away from them, I would take away their ability to dream, imagine, and have faith that things could be different than they are, that we are not alone, and that we are all connected in ways we cannot always see.

Belief and faith are what allow us to keep going when life feels hard. They help us feel like something bigger is at play, and we’re just here enjoying the show–here for the magic.

So, whether you believe in God, Universe, the Divine, etc., it does not matter what others think. If that is what helps you to stay grounded on this earth and know that there is a bigger magical mystery at play, cool. Do that. If you don’t believe that but believe that UFOs will come and take you home one day, cool. Do that. I am not here to tell you that your belief is right or wrong because I cannot know what is true for you until you tell me.

The point is that the stories that we tell in childhood, whether from a bible or a children’s tale, allow our children to stay connected to the power of faith and what it means to believe. Kids can be laughed at and ridiculed for believing long past the other children, but the children who maintain that faith or choose to believe after they find out that their parents are behind the big guy in red, grow up to be adults who have faith that holds them when times get tough. They believe in miracles and that we can create our own reality. They believe that we can create magic. And they believe that there is something bigger, beyond us, that will hold us beyond death. And when our time comes, I think that most of us want to believe that there is something beyond and that there is a bigger purpose in our time here on earth.

Are you curious about working together? Email or set up a free 15 min meeting to learn more.