What Do Death Doulas Do?

I often get asked what a death doula is and how I support people. Death doulas are a relatively new profession, but truthfully, we’ve been doing this work for many generations as the family's women historically provided deathcare. Death doulas help people transition from Earth to beyond, similarly to how birth doulas help babies transition from beyond to Earth.

Death, like birth, requires time to prepare for this transition that will take place. For most of us, death is not sudden, which means we have time to sit with the idea that this life is ending here on Earth. What is beyond none of us living here now can know one hundred percent, but whatever you believe can possibly help or hinder the transition process.

When someone has a strong faith or belief in what is beyond this life, and it feels positive, their process can be moved through with greater ease emotionally and intellectually.  This is not to say that only people with strong faith can transition into death easily. Some will find peace with other beliefs or none at all. A good death doula has no agenda for your belief or how you should think, feel, or what you should do to prepare for death.

Because our society has dramatically changed how we relate to and approach death in the last 50-100 years, we have created more fears around death and dying.  So too, we have seen a considerable reduction in the number of people who align with organized religion and are questioning the beliefs that have been handed down to them.

Death doulas help you explore what you believe and what you desire, provide information and inform you of the end stages of life and what to expect–to the level you want to know. Not everyone benefits from more information, but some do, so we tailor our information to your needs and desires to know or not.

We may work with you on legacy projects, life revies projects, helping you to leave memories, ethical wills, photographs, stories, audio recordings, or video recordings of you telling your history or your family history to be passed down through the generations.

We may help you with other legacy projects or connect you with resources in your community. Some of us are trained to provide grief coaching and support for the dying person and/or their family. We may support the caregivers who provide daily care at the end of life or through long-term illness.

Some provide caregiving support, errand running, dog walking, pet sitting, and more. Each death doula will have areas that they typically specialize in, and some will have areas that they do not work in.

Doulas provide emotional support, presence, nurturing, support for troubleshooting challenges, proactive guidance, resources, education, advocacy for the dying person, and referrals as needed and can arrange logistical support. They may provide comfort measures for the dying, hold vigil and even provide after-death care.

Doulas are not medical providers and do not diagnose or treat. They are non-medical support providing holistic care, empowerment, and support.

Diagnosis to Disposition

There are different levels of care that death doulas provide. Some will take you all the way from diagnosis to disposition, while others will work within a certain time period with you.

In the earlier stages of diagnosis, there is ample opportunity to explore thoughts, fears, and plans for what you wish to happen at your end of life. Gathering documents, relaying your wishes to your family or friends, and even planning your funeral or service. Some even have a living funeral so they can participate and say goodbye to the people who mean the most to them or who have touched their lives.

Eleventh Hour Doulas

Eleventh Hour Doulas provide support in those last days, often supporting the dying and the family.

MAID Death Doulas

MAID Death Doulas support people choosing medical aid in dying where it’s legal. As of this writing, it is legal in:

·  Oregon

·  Washington

·  Montana

·  Vermont

·  California

·  Colorado

·  Washington D.C.

·  Hawai‘i

·  New Jersey

·  Maine

·  New Mexico

If you’re looking to hire a death doula, it is recommended to meet with them to make sure you align on both personality and goals, support provided, and cost of care.

If you’re interested in learning more about the services I can provide for you or your person at the end of life, please book a complementary 15-minute meeting.